Owen and I rolled out of bed at 6 AM to see us enter the first lock. Serenity has a perfect place to see it all on the upper deck forward.

As we watched the water raise our ship in the Miraflores locks, it was impossible to conceive that it will take 52,000,000 gallons of water to transit us to the Caribbean. That water comes from the Gatun Lake, and there have been some dry seasons when transit had to be limited.

It will cost us about $200,000 in cash (no credit cards) as our toll. A man swam the canal, it cost him 36 cents…..in cash. To me the strangest cargo to transit was the London Bridge.

The bridge was bought to be put in place as the showcase piece of Lake Havasu development on the river connecting California and Arizona. I walked across it on the opening of the development, the pathway strewn with roses. The rumor is Robert M. McCulloch thought he had bought the Tower Bridge. Buyer beware. No return without a receipt.

No matter the cost, and the widening, and the updating and technology, it’s two guys in a rowboat who tie the ships line to the “mules”.

The widening of the canal will be finished in about two years. At the moment there are huge piles of dirt everywhere,

but nothing disturbs the crocodiles.

Nor does anything disturb our wish to retire to this island and watch the world sail by.

For a look at the widening and the canal in operation, Google “panama canal cams live”.

It being casual night, Owen and I ate at Tastes next to the Neptune pool. Great service, “casual” food, and lovely atmosphere.

Our table mates had asked us to let them know when we were not going to eat at table 92, but as we usually didn’t plan ahead, we had no idea how to do that. As the sun set, the guilt faded.

We are now headed for Cartagena, Colombia and will arrive in the morning.

Lunch again at Lido. Numerous staff takes good care of all. Coffee is brought to the table as is anything else one might want. Refills, clearing, all done with a smile. I get a particular kick there as many of the guys call me by name. Not Mr. Edwards, but Geoff. Our favorite is Roxanna. She seems to be everywhere we are, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Owen and a waiter from Serbia talk about motorcycles and those who race them. Alessandro has Ducati everything; shirts, leathers, etc. but no Ducati. His wife won’t let him ride a motorcycle. Maybe this is why:

The internet on Serenity is fast. On many ships, it is a tedious task getting connected and then transmitting. I know I’m getting repetitious, but this is Crystal. Even the deck lights react to light and dark and turn on automatically. Last evening the lights went on as the clouds closed in. Yo, wait a minute. The sun popped through a hole in the overcast as it set. Lights off.

Do you remember the woman whose napkin flew overboard? I saw her in the food line today and walked up to her. I handed her a duplicate napkin and told her the folks on Deck 2 asked me to return it to her. She stared at me longer than I liked, and then burst into laughter.

There is music everywhere on Serenity. Piano players,

the small Serenity group with singer,

and sometimes the show band and they do sound good. The string quartette, four ladies from Russia, plays every night and Owen loves classical music.

Is it really the music?

Tomorrow, the Panama Canal

We are anchored in the bay at Caldera, Costa Rica. It’s the costa for sure, but not rica in any sense. This apparently is a cargo pier, but they only have room for one ship at a time. Most passengers are taking the tour to San Jose, the Costa Rica capitol on the mountain top. It’s quite a haul from here. At one time there was an ancient train that made the climb. It no longer exists. I’m sure it simply rattled itself to scrap.

Reflections, the daily Crystal news sheet puts it this way:

“There are no facilities of interest within walking distance of the pier area.” Owen took a tender into port. A sign indicated what was there.

Although he saw a beautiful Flamingo and its hungry friend, he was back shortly.

Reflections confirmed.

The ships weather forecaster had us looking forward to a partly cloudy day. I told Owen it was going to rain. It did. Geoff confirmed.

After the rain shower, I took on the Promenade deck. One must walk counter clockwise.

Three times around is a mile. I’m sure that is wrong.

My visual calculation puts halfway as a mile. Geoff not being confirmed, sat down.

After a bit, I got back on my feet and went to deck 10 to hit a few golf balls into a net.

Next some long putts. I’m going to challenge Owen. If I lose to him, I’ll be the putz and you won’t read about it here.

We decided late in the day to see if there was room at Prego, the ship’s Italian restaurant.

There was. Owen greeted Bruno, the man who is in charge of Prego in Italian. Owen is fluent in Italian; he even reads books in Italian. Bruno then was a find. Someone he could chat with without me knowing what they were talking about. Owen spent some time talking about this and that as we waited for a table. A bit later Bruno pulled Owen aside and explained, sotto voce, that while he understood Italian he couldn’t speak it. Owen was disappointed, but two sips later and he put it all behind him

Dinner in Prego was excellent.

They serve a mushroom soup in a bread bowl that beats all soups anywhere. The gelato is freshly made by the chefs in the kitchen. Yum.

The production show dancers have lunch on the outside Lido deck. Sitting at a table were John Ellis (lead singer) and Shane Morley, dance captain. I finished lunch and although John had left, Shane was just finishing his. As I walked by, I told him I had seen what he ate, and that I’d be watching his feet next show to see if they were slowing down. He laughed. I then told him how great he was as both a dancer and a singer. And then my friends:

“Oh I’m not a dancer, I’m the sound man.”

“I just want to add,” I quickly said, “the sound is excellent, some of the best I’ve heard.”

Oh dear.

Tomorrow at sea heading for the Panama Canal.

Vetala, our stewardess not only changes the sheets (not that they need it, you understand) every day, she also washes the glass to the balcony. How she keeps that cheery smile hour after hour is beyond me, but then this is Crystal.

Over the years I’ve learned not to argue with dinner companions, but I’m getting tested. I mentioned that Crystal Symphony is going for some sprucing up in June.

“No, it’s not! It just had that done”, both guys said at the same time.”

I smiled and said, “Oh.”

I mentioned that we met a travel agent who saw a video on TV about the Canal widening. She told us that work will cease in four days as that will be the beginning of the rainy season. Having been through the Canal about a week ago, i could see that rain would cause rivers of mud at the different construction sites.

Guy one said “Yes the rainy season started in January and is almost over.”

I smiled and said, “Oh.”

Actually, I am not sure who to believe. Talking with her further, I found out she is with a high end travel agency in San Diego. I mentioned something about the cruise business and she said I can’t talk about it.

“We are a luxury only cruise agency and know things we are not allowed to discuss with anyone.”

I smiled and said, “Oh.”

The Neptune Pool area had another special lunch today. I found my perfect meal. As many raw shrimp as I could get on a plate, and several different meringue desserts.

Most tables are taken quickly when these special luncheons are served, but Owen and I went to the rear Lido Deck. We only lost two pieces of lettuce to the wind today. There are a couple of birds circling the ship. They’ve been with us for two days. Now I know why.At breakfast there are two stations that do eggs and omelets. I go to the same one each morning. He does my “over easy” perfectly. As he is from Manila, I asked him how he was in Tagalog, Philippine’s national language.

He said, “Huh?”

I asked again and he still was puzzled. I then pointed to him and said, “Philippine”. Next I pointed to my mouth and said, “Tagalog”.

Once again I “how are you’ed” in Tagalog. He laughed and came back in Tagalog. English has just about become the native language of staff from the Philippines.

We were by ourselves at dinner. The group of four was dining in one of the other restaurants. Maybe they are tired of me and Owen. Two people at an adjoining table said they’d been watching us and would we like to join them for the rest of the cruise. I mean they are two feet away. What would we tell our table group?

“Oh, we are sorry, but we needed to sit a couple of feet closer to the window.”

Tomorrow Costa Rica

If there is a breeze it is more breezy there than by the pool. We are keeping a tally of what has been blown away from our table to either a lower deck or all the way to sea. So far:

2 napkins

part of a salad

two bacon strips

A woman seating at the table next to us had her napkin sail away. I told her she was supposed to yell “napkin overboard” and point. My wife will hate to read this, but I am carrying a napkin everywhere I go hoping to give it to her and say it was recovered and the Captain sends his thanks. Stay tuned.

I was sleepy during the day. I’m sure it was the Asian food. Owen tells me that garlic lowers the blood pressure. Thus I may have, not an allergy, but a super sensitivity. Or maybe some vampiresh DNA.

As I have mentioned the food on Serenity is good, good, good. The Bistro serves snacks, all styles of coffee, no charge. Each night our butler brings a special appetizer. Tonight it’s a large dollop of caviar with all the accouterments plus wonderful pâté.

This makes both Owen and I weight conscious. I got on the electronic scale in the gym. Depending on the wave motion I weigh between 172 and 182. I guess I’ll won’t check again until we’re  firmly at a pier.

We were surprised at dinner when our table group said they were having mussels for a starter. They had asked the maître d’ for them at noon the day before. Indeed, a hot cauldron of just cooked mussels with enough for all arrived. They were exceptionally good. Apparently, just about anything you want you can get. After all, this is Crystal.

My main course was Dover Sole. The most perfectly prepared I have had in any restaurant ever.

Tonight’s show showcases seldom heard Broadway songs. It’s Standing Room Only. Hard to believe I am actually looking forward to seeing a cruise ship show. I do wish one of these shows could be videoed for YouTube.

Again, the best I’ve seen on or off Broadway. John Ellis is peerless.

The choreography is intricate at times, but makes total sense.

This was the after dinner show, and those of us whose full tummies could squeeze out of their seats stood and bravo’s rang out.

No more going to the gym to weigh myself. Owen found a scale tucked away in our bathroom. He works out every morning, walks a mile every day, and has gained a few pounds. Just a few. I’ve lost a pound. Owen attributes my weight loss to aging. Whatever.

Tomorrow, third day at sea.

What makes Crystal Crystal? Well, not sure about others, but for Owen and me it is the friendliness of the crew. Servers in the Lido have fun with us as we do with them. Big smiles when we approach. We had dinner at Silk Road and our waitress was from Manila. Since Silk Road is a Japanese style restaurant. I spoke to her in Japanese. She answered. Her Japanese was, of course much better than mine, but her face lit up. Owen then made some droll remark and the next thing we knew we were all friends. She told us she had just broken up with her boyfriend two days past. Then we talked about how tough that must be with both on the same ship.

We will walk along and a crew member will smile and say, “Good to see you again.” I was looking for some shaving cream to buy and went into the Jewelry section of the ship’s stores. Instead of pointing in the right direction, the clerk had me follow him to where sundries were sold. He then presented me to the female helper and she took me to the shaving cream. Amazing attention to passengers. This is Crystal!

Lunch was Asian style on deck.

Good stuff, but what got me smiling and away from generalities was the Asian couple who only ate lettuce. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The Captain made an announcement on the ship’s PA system. “Dolphins on the starboard side.” Indeed there were some twenty or so up for air then down for fish. They were kind of in a circle and had no interest in the ship grinding by.

I’ve talked about the smiles from all. All that is except one. She goes about her duties, picking up, putting down with lips pressed unhappily together. Owen and I came up with different scenarios about what was saddening her. I made it my goal to get her to smile. She did. But only for the camera. She smiled, but we never saw her show her teeth again. Maybe that’s the Austrian way.

Our room stewardess is always bubbly.

Our butler is a motorcycle enthusiast and he and Owen share stories. He is a butler, but not above betting with me as to which elevator will come to the floor first. So far I’ve won each time. Nothing, of course changes hands, but I have to quell the urge to immediately go to the Casino.

After dinner we walked by the movie theater. The feature was Sherlock Holmes; A Game Of Shadows. Owen said he had no interest. There is a more disguised entrance to the theater around the corner. As we passed that, Owen went in. He came out about an hour later. I asked him why he stayed when he wasn’t interested.

“I get captivated by film.* he said.

I thought for a while about all this and realized I too get captivated…..by naps. But I’m not alone in this.

Even though the water on the Pacific side is dangerous, (riptides, hi surf), it looks like a wonderful place to spend time. (Later in the cruise, I met a couple who actually lived there. They moved from Alaska.)

As we came into the bay, the security patrol was very evident.

This is the first time I have seen this in Cabo. I think that there is a tremendous effort to give cruise companies a sense of security in this part of Mexico. There are some ships that will only go to Cabo. Serenity is one. We’ll skip Puerto Vallarta and Acapulco, with our next stop being in Costa Rica.

A couple of weeks ago, I promised Alejandro, a waiter at Señor Frogs, a bottle of the new Tabasco Habanero sauce. It’s not just HOT, it’s flavorful. We tested it against the regular Tabasco on chips.

I convinced Alejandro to match me and put more than just a few drops on a chip. Three or four bites and he ran for a beer.

I slurped most of my Diet Coke. My mouth burned for most of the rest of our walk into town.

We saw this yacht on our way. I wanted to go over to it and find out who’s it was and what they were doing in Cabo. Why do people with that much dinero come to Cabo? Then I thought about the many reasons someone with that kind of money might be in Mexico at all. I decided it was none of my business.

Owen and I went into Diamonds International where a few years ago I had purchased a lost wedding ring replacement. They negotiated and the final price was about 2/3s asking. As we browsed, I saw a case of Philip Stein watches. These watches are different styles, but each has an opening in the back that is supposed to emit something that makes one feel better, sleep better, be less tense. I want to try this, but really don’t come close to needing another watch. The lowest priced watch was $250. It was a nice watch and I offered $150. The manager came over and she gave me ten percent off. Now we were talking $225. I countered with $190. She said no and would not budge from $225. She then told me she had weekly headaches. She got a Philip Stein watch and the headaches went away. She then took it off and the headaches came back. This, she said, proved to her that the watch was worth every penny of $225. After all, she said, it’s only $35 we’re talking about. But wait, she was not wearing a watch of any brand. I started to get a headache. We left.

On the tender back to Serenity, we ran into Kathleen, who we had met the night before in the “leaving the theater line”.

She is in remission from stage 4 cancer. Two tumors in her throat put her in the hospital with a feeding tube for a year. With all that, she is lovely and smiling all the time. Remission being not a synonym for cure, she brought her daughter, and two grandchildren along. They were with her on the tender.

One of the women at our table is in a wheelchair and her husband has to help lift the water glass. And yet she is laughing at me and Owen, and very upbeat in conversation. I’m not sure what lesson to derive from them, but maybe it’s to understand life with loved ones is worth more than many of us may fully appreciate.

We ate at Tastes, casual dining by the Neptune pool. Good simple food and great service. The drink steward lives in Miami, but is from Brazil and we had a ball with him. Owen had a salmon dish and I had Pizza. Our guy took a photo of us, in his words showing an elite Owen, and a real man……..me.

We passed on show time (not a production) read and then slept.

I have been cruising for many years and have been through the Panama Canal more times than I can remember. I write about those trips.

He is a former editor of Cosmopolitan, Parents, and a contributor to American Photographer, Smithsonian Magazine, and countless other publications. He is the author of several books, and a truly top writer. But, he has yet to set foot on a cruise ship, and the Canal is, in his mind, but a ditch. It’s time to make that right.

We are going together from Los Angeles to New York City on Crystal Cruises newly refurbished Serenity.

We’ll travel together for 17 days in a lovely cabin with a balcony. It’s dubbed a Penthouse Suite. This is, in cruise parlance, a luxury ship.

Truthfully, although we are good friends, we have never spent that long a time together. Certainly, not in “confined” quarters.

Herewith an inside look:

We boarded Crystal Serenity using Crystal’s entirely new boarding procedure. Upon entering the boarding area, hand luggage goes through the scanner and then it’s off to the ship. Once aboard, all the rest is taken care of; seapass, ID photo, and you are set. Quick, easy, and so superior to the mass mess that many other ship lines have to offer.

We have a cabin on Penthouse Deck. Serenity has just recently been through a $25,000,000 rejuvenation, and our cabin reflects money well spent.

A lovely update; not flashy; not overstated, but just warmly lovely. The entire ship is reminiscent of being in a classic French mansion. At least I think it is. I’ve never really been in one.

But as beautiful as Serenity is, the typical cruise problems still pop up. For instance on one page, Reflections, the ship’s daily news of events, etc., says that one needs a reservation for Nobu’s Sushi Bar. On another page it says “first come first served”. And we were set for a table for six at 6:30, the first dining seating. The time 6:30 is on the Crystal website. We were presented with a table for two at the second seating. No real problem, we went to the dining office and got changed to a table for six at 6:00. At last after all these years of cruising I am now accepting that all things may not be as preplanned. I now sleep better.

Last night was the welcome aboard show. I never attend this show on cruise ships…..mostly they are kind of boring. “Hi, are you all having fun???” And on from there.

Last night was different. It was wonderful. As you walked into the theater, there was a female dancer on stage stretching, another looking at a notebook. This went on until actual showtime. At that point, a couple of guys with backpacks came from the audience. Then another, and then it turned into “A Chorus Line”. Amazing dancers and singers. Really amazing. Then the Cruise Director took over.

Our cruise director is Gary Hunter. He is one of the best ventriloquists alive. I met Gary years (and years) ago and we became acquaintances. He has gone from performer on cruise ships to a Cruise Director for Crystal. Of course both of us have grown a bit older. His hair is completely white, but he can still read a book without moving his lips.

After his very energetic talk about the ship and activities, the chorus did a piece from Grand Hotel. Again, top Broadway fare. When the lights went up, the live band played Sing, Sing, Sing, a Benny Goodman piece that featured, at one time, Gene Krupa. It was the first drum solo I learned when I started playing. The drummer in this band was one of the best I’ve heard. I hated him.

Owen and I headed off to the cabin. He read a book in Italian…..I put in my earplugs, put on my eye cover, and off to sleep.

Day One Crystal Serenity Canal

We are at sea and heading for Cabo San Lucas. It is grey and a bit gloomy but I promised Owen that we’d get sun by 2 PM.

We are seven years apart which at younger ages is a big gap. When I was 17 and driving my car in my junior year in High School, he was 10 and we had little in common. We are much closer these days, but are still not the same model.

Both of us head to bed around ten or so at night. I put on the eye-shade and ear plugs. He puts on his cabin reading light (which could illuminate a dark street), and starts to read. Usually he is asleep before me, comfortable in the knowledge that a book is on his lap should he need it. No problem, of course, finding it, the light is still on. Sometime in the night he wakes and extinguishes the light and then himself.

In the morning he wakes at six and goes to the gym, then for a walk and then coffee. I wake at 8:30, sip the coffee he brings to the cabin, and then we both go to breakfast at the Lido. I have no plans to see the gym on this cruise.

We spent our first day checking out Serenity, getting our internet set, and our credit cards registered. At guest services, there is no line marked out by cloth strips. You go there and somehow you’re next. Very nice people behind the counter.

Tonight was formal; we were in dark suits. We headed to table 92 to have dinner and meet our table mates. It was the Captain’s Gala Welcome Aboard Dinner. I had checked out #92 earlier in the day and went right to it. Hmmm, it said #81. Ninety two was against a wall and empty. We sat and then a dining elf told us that this had been #92 at lunch, and our table was actually closer to the lovely view. It was also empty. Our table mates were still at the Captain’s Formal Reception.

Soon they appeared. Two very nice couples; one from Florida and one from Seattle.

They are World Cruisers who have extended through NYC to Iceland, Greenland, and then the Mediterranean. It is so interesting to see how the conversation goes back and forth. They were fascinated by Owen’s Gentleman’s Quarterly writings and experiences. There is a professor on board who lectures on Alfred Hitchcock and he is a favorite of the couples. Owen used to work for George Lucas and has some inside stuff on Hitchcock. Believe me when I tell you they really paid attention to his musings. No one seemed particularly interested in the fact that I played tennis with Clint Eastwood.

Our waiters are excellent. Antoneo from Goa is taking care of my garlic allergy. After I ordered stuffed baby quail, he nodded affirmatively. After a bit, he came back; the chef had told him there was a bit of garlic in the stuffing. I had a very tasty Halibut. On other ships I have asked to avoid garlic, but this the first time it’s really been paid attention to. And, then surprise, surprise, the man on my left also had the same allergy.

Showtime again. Tonight it was Movie Music.

GREAT!! The talent is unbelievably good. All the dancers sing as is usual, however the best dancer didn’t seem to be that into vocalizing. You know how singers in a chorus open their mouths fairly wide to get the best sound. Well this guy didn’t open his mouth very wide and sometimes didn’t seem to try. I found out why. He was born and raised in Siberia. He was a leading dancer in the Academic State Ensemble of the Red Army, then joined the Academic State Folk Dance Company, then got into jazz and hip-hop choreography.

OK, so now here he is and he’s learning English, and trying hard to replace Boris with Dolly when he sings “hello”.

Tara Khaler and John Ellis, the lead singers, are simply the best I’ve seen and heard. Brett Bullock, Crystal’s executive Producer has outdone himself. He has no equal in the cruise entertainment business.

Time for bed and guess what, I miss my wife Michael. Of course because I love her, I miss her, but I can’t find my eye shade. She can always find everything.

We live in Los Angeles; the ship sails from Fort Lauderdale. For some reason, ubiquitous connections don’t exist.. Miami, no problem, but Fort Lauderdale? You’re sure you want to go there?? Actually, Virgin America makes it easy, but still to be sure to make the ship’s sailing, better plan for an overnight hotel stay.

Our Virgin America crew was friendly, although they only came down the aisle once with complimentary soft drinks plus booze to buy. Not that we had any spare change. $25 per bag, $8.00 to watch a movie. Food to order prices are displayed on the TV. Just press “eat”. No button on the screen says “Can I just have a peanut?”

“Never mind.”, as my Grandmother used to say.

On the plus side, the seat back screen received Dish Network and the ubiquitous moving flight map.

Make no mistake, there is a lot new on the Nieuw Amsterdam, but the cool thing about Holland America is, no matter how new things are, the ship always feels familiar. The bar you liked previously is still there in the same place. The lounge where they serve the goodies at night is a bit bigger, but still looks the same and it’s right where you left it.

Newish?

The flowers; at $10,000 weekly are gorgeous and sprinkled copiously around the ship.

And never mind the Art Auction, just let me take home what’s on the walls.

One noticeable change, prompted I’m sure by the tragic Concordia crash, is the addition to the Lifeboat drill.

“You are required to attend this drill. If you do not, you will not be allowed to sail with us.”

That means if your name doesn’t show up at roll call, believe me, they will seek you out. Don’t think this is an empty threat. Across the pier a passenger on the Westerdam who did not attend their drill was bid goodbye and left on the dock.

I think my idea is simpler. Each attendant at the drill gets a red ticket. No tickee, no eatee.

By the way, there are no muster stations on Nieuw Amsterdam, it’s direct to the lifeboats.

I always look up at the bottom of the boat we at our station are standing under. Then I look around at the group assigned to that boat.

Hard to believe we’ll all fit.

Our first meal on board was in the Manhattan Dining Room. This is a bit more colorful than previous HAL experience, but the red is cheerful.

The only downside, the color screens around the dining area.

They reminded me of a look inside something I don’t want to talk about.

Accompanying an awesome menu is a wait-staff offering attentive and friendly service. I had Cobia with lobster dumplings.

It was perfectly cooked; seared and crispy on the outside, soft and a touch mushy inside. It may have been the best fish I’ve had in a cruise ship dining room.

Nieuw Amsterdam is Chef oriented and their chefs value their reputation. Not to worry.

Nieuw Amsterdam First Day At Sea

We slept past sunrise

(way past) so ordered our breakfast from room service. There was hardly a wait until the knock on the door. Croissants, coffee, and bran muffins on the sun swept balcony with HAL’s private Bahamian island in view made for a lingering morning.

We finally emerged and grabbed lunch at the Terrace Grill.

One of us (guess who) had a lamb burger. New one person poll shows lamb beats cow. Along with traditional treats, the grill also served salmon burgers.

It is interesting that on this big a ship, small improvements pop up.

Checkout the tear off daily schedule with 50 things to do,

and not cups, but coffee mugs.

On deck, the music was harmonious not raucous. I loved the stealthy sounds that came from the Kettle Drum.

The pool area is also set up for those under 50 to enjoy.

Dinner was in Italian themed Canaletto. It was a bit tricky finding Canaletto. Basically it’s part of the Lido. It is separated by an adjacent space, but has no entry door.  The food was definitely worth the search. I had an incredible Penne Alla Vodka.

You must try this.

Suddenly, as we were getting ready to order dessert, a large green wisp appeared. Lemoncello cotton candy!

Before:

After:

Do not miss Canaletto.

Nieuw Amsterdam A Day At Sea

Most of the day we sailed along the south side of Cuba.

“The Culinary Arts Center program, presented by Food & Wine magazine, is a groundbreaking program that integrates guests’ love for fine food and wine with an unique and entertaining experience.”

Michael checked out “Three Chefs Demo” and also attended Caribbean Heat.

The Culinary Arts Center Program takes place in a large (200 plus seating) room with a stage, state-of-the-art demonstration kitchen, plus multiple large screens providing close ups of the food preparation.

The classes I attended were only a sampling as there were sometimes three a day hosted by the chefs of the different dining rooms and Laurie, The Party Planner. Provided free of charge they lasted approximately one hour each.

Recipe cards were passed out and at times samples were available for tasting.

Fortunately, the recipes were in cups and ounces vs. grams and pints, except the hugely popular traditional Dutch “Bread Pudding” dessert recipe. But immediately upon arriving home, trusty “Google” at hand, I was able to translate and cook this dish with my granddaughters. I told their mother, with 19 egg yolks, it was healthy. The kids each had three helpings; their dad, two. I, on the other hand, had it every day for lunch aboard the Nieuw Amsterdam.

On the second day of the cruise over 100 guests and I sat comfortably, while at least 4 large screens around the room showed close ups of the 3 chefs-Danny, Jason and Kim as they prepared their signature dishes from their restaurants: Canaletto, Tamarind and the Pinnacle Grill. Laurie, the party planner, acted as moderator while the chefs bantered entertainingly with each other. They must have been as much chosen for their personalities as their cooking skills!

The recipes revolved around 3 main courses: Veal Milanese from Canaletto; Penang Red Curry Coconut Chicken from Tamarind; and Filet Mignon and Shrimp, or famously “Land and Sea” from the Pinnacle Grill.

While 23 different ingredients already measured and chopped for the Curry and Veal dishes make the cooking look easy, someone has got to measure and chop behind the scenes.

That afternoon, I went back for more and watched as Kim, from the Pinnacle Grill, amazed us with Cubano Grilled Pork with Picadillo Olive Salsa.

It seems there is a magic number of over 23 ingredients or more that goes into making each demonstration entertaining, beautiful, delicious, and challenging.

“Best Ever Fish Tacos” cooking class:

Again, at least 25 ingredients necessary, but a smaller audience this time enabling us, with Laurie, the Party Planner, to gather around the cooking surface/work table, and ask questions during the process.

It is fun to see the demonstration unfold as if you are all in your own kitchen. Nothing is written in stone, and if there isn’t an ingredient available, it is either improvised or a substitution is supplied, and great tips learned!

I took a picture of the huge, five pound, bag of Crushed Chili Pepper flakes for Geoff to drool over; he likes it hotter than hot!

Only 2 teaspoons are required for the recipe, however! The ship has a lot of mouths to feed!

Caribbean Heat, “Sofrito Mashed Potatoes” cooking class:

The least amount of ingredients, only 15, but then it is mashed potatoes Since it includes vegetables of red and green bell peppers, sautéed with tomato sauce and cream, technically you don’t need another dish. Only two pans to clean, and looked delicious. I actually would try this at home!

Later, as the sun set, and the skies grayed,

Cuba receded, and we dressed for dinner.

Tonight’s dinner for us was in the Pinnacle Grill, a very upper end restaurant.

The lobster bisque had a slightly unfamiliar taste. It was laced gently with aged cognac.

No wonder it’s smiling.

Crab cakes were wonderful, but I’d hesitate to recommend the Chef’s favorite; lobster mac and cheese.

Each night when we get back to the cabin there is a towel animal displayed. They don’t have the ingenuity of the Carnival creatures; actually they are a bit lame.

But I loved this one.

                                                                                             I named him Ralph.

Georgetown Cayman Islands

This is a familiar stop for us. The US dollar in the Cayman Islands is worth 80 cents. Bargains are scarce. That being said, Nieuw Amsterdam offers tons of shore excursions.

We actually slept through the morning. Nothing lost. We read, wrote, emailed etc. A hint; wireless on all ships is slower than on shore, but leave your cabin door ajar and the speed nearly doubles.

The Pinnacle grill opened its doors to us once again; tonight was the Special Chef’s Dinner. Our seven course meal started with champagne dusted with a touch of Grand Marnier. This apparently smooths the inside of the glass. Something good then happens. I have no idea what, but no guessing that it was effervescent. A nice way to start the evening. And it didn’t count as a course. Those were next.

This is a dinner will take about three hours. When the Chef’s dinner concept began it was eleven courses. As the chefs began to have trouble fitting through the kitchen doors, it dropped to eight. The difficulty in getting Jenny Craig at sea dropped it to seven.

And then it started:

Check out the plates…..$250 each.

Lord knows what the napkin rings go for. I’m surprised the maître de doesn’t pat your pockets on the way out.

Here’s the menu, kind of:

Each course had its own assigned wine.

When we waddled back to our cabin, we both avoided the mirrors.

Nieuw Mahogany Bay

Until Carnival and Jerry Hynds came along to develop it, Mahogany Bay was but a house or two on a bay. Two years and $62,000,000 later it is a cluster of shops, restaurants,

and just a chair lift away,

beachfront.

$12.00 will get you back and forth as many times as you want.

Keeping an eye on all was a German cruise ship.

The stores are lovely, but prices are fixed. A pair of rubber flip flops ran over $50. Michael, shopping for bracelet charms, found the ones on board Nieuw Amsterdam less expensive and much the same or better quality.

What, the Pinnacle Grill again? Yup, but tonight it was New York, New York. The menu was that of one of New York’s most famous restaurants, Le Cirque. Believe me at $25.00 it’s cheaper than the Big Apple. It was incredible and you don’t have to take a taxi to get there.

Nieuw Costa Maya, Mexico

Costa Maya is on the Yucatan Península. What does Yucatan mean in Spanish? Well, nothing. When the Spanish conquistadors asked, “What is the name of this place?”, they of course spoke in Spanish. (Duh; which also means nothing.) The Mayans answered “uhuuthaan”. Which translated means “Listen to the strange way they are speaking.”

A bit ago I was on a ship heading for Costa Maya, Mexico. The windy weather forced an itinerary change. Even this trip the wind delayed our departure.

Oh, and it poured rain. We’ll try again another time. Never mind.

Dinner at Tamarind was a combination of Chinese and Japanese cuisine. I started with a Sushi Rainbow roll

followed by a SPICY chicken curry dish. Tamarind is $15.00.

Save room for dessert. In fact save a whole house. The Chocolate Extravaganza took up the whole pool area.

Micheal’s favorite apples on a stick.

Nieuw Last Day at Sea

The Costa Maya weather is still with us as we sail back to Fort Lauderdale. The ship’s store is having sales and the cruise director is holding his debarkation talk. He is particularly concerned that passengers leave clothes out to wear in the morning. You can’t believe, he says, how many show up at the main desk in their pajamas. Then the request to look to the right and look to the left. Now think about the fact that one in three doesn’t wear pajamas.

Once again I hit the Lido for breakfast. I am sure I will never see such an array of Eggs Benedict anywhere else.

This cruise was mesmerizing. The only way I could keep track of the days was to press the elevator button.

You say rare, and they do it rare.

The atmosphere is quite intimate, but the lighting is not photogenic.

I started with ahi tartare, then Lamb Chops, and THEN chocolate.

A morning pull of the drapes and we are in Cozumel.

Seven ships are in port today, and those only the ones I can see.

Figure from 15 to 20 thousand passengers hitting the shops. For most wants, the pier stores will provide. If you go into town, the merchants will be more persuasive and may get on your nerves. Most tourists think with the amount of people buying, negotiating will be a wasted effort. Not so. Remember, at the moment you are the customer; the merchant wants an on the spot sale like now. Bargain!

I have no idea how many VW taxis are in Cozumel, there must be hundreds, but this is must more fun.

On Magic, inspection is an every day duty.

By the way, talking about inspection this ship got 100% perfect before we sailed.

Not all left the ship for town. The splash area still dumped water on one and all.

There is a lookout stationed at the bottom of the slides. He radios when the slider splashes down to let the top sentry know the next can get in the tube.

Deck service is prompt

and the Carnival marketing team has come up with a unique drink container.

Some caught up on the news and weather on the big screen which features movies at night.

One thing I’ve noticed is a number of people paste or hang things on their cabin door. It’s kind of fun to see what’s along the hall,

never the less, I wonder if it’s not so much a want for decoration, but a way of locating where they live.

I’ve tried hard to find something to whine about on Magic. It’s the sovereign duty of a travel writer to tell about the bad as well as the good. I finally did.

At the beginning of each cruise, Carnival provides tooth paste, body wash, deodorant, etc. all are samples of retail products. On Magic there are about 8 or 9 different items. Included is a small plastic envelope of Q-tips; not a retail sample. They are not full size and “Q” is probably too far along in the alphabet to properly describe them.

When they were used up, I asked my room steward Ovi for a replacement envelope.

“I can’t give them to you. You have to buy them at the store.”

OK, I tried that and couldn’t find any Q-Tips.

As we docked in Cozumel, I asked Ovi again, making it clear, that I really wanted them and he should get them for me.

“You get them first day and no more.” Ovi emphasized.

I went off a bit and doubted that Carnival was so frugal that they couldn’t part with another envelope of 6 mini-tips.

Ovi, scowling, pulled out his phone.

“I’ll have to make a call.”

When I returned to my cleaned cabin there was a tray of goods,

but no Q-tips.

Oh no, here I had been overly stern with Ovi, and it was a miscommunication. I found him, apologized profusely, and explained to him what I meant. I gestured showing cotton at two ends connected by a skinny thingy.

“Yes”, Ovi said, “Q-tips. They won’t let me have any.”

OK, I mean, with the amount Carnival buys, those must cost a few pennies. But factor this in. A Margarita on the rocks costs $10.06. But, of course, that includes salt.

Finally I got a chance to get to the Punchliner comedy club. It was the early show, open to all, including children. Out came John Wesley Austin and blew me away.

Charming, funny, kids and parents and me laughing. Except for the woman next to me. Not even a smile. She probably thought it was supposed to be the art auction.

The Carnival Magic is an amazing ship. Next is the Destiny, amazing plus. When you compare cruise prices, and what you get for your money, there is an easy choice. Carnival Magic.

Tomorrow we dock in Galveston. At 7 AM the ship starts to empty. By 10 AM all will be heading home, except for one. He’s gong to keep cruising, no matter how long it takes, until he hits the Jackpot.

My colleagues know that I am not a ship show enthusiast, but last night’s poles apart performance is better than any show I’ve seen on any ship. It’s called “Illusions”. The photo above is moments after a puff of smoke and an entire helicopter appeared. The old “saw the woman in half” was kind of basic, but then the bottom half of the woman walked around the stage. Nothing I write will begin to illuminate the magic of what happened on that stage last night.

A hint; the doors to the theater open at 10 PM. To get a good seat be at the door at 9:45. There will be a short line. The doors open, and in you go for that good seat, but, what to do for the half hour until Showtime. If you have an eReader, take it with you to pass the time. It works.

Not an illusion in any sense, but strangely mesmerizing to me is what I call the tub dump. The yellow tub fills and then about every minute it dumps!

I love the whole idea of this, and it just keeps on keepin’ on.

The whole water area is a kid’s haven. Carnival for years has had a wonderful children’s program but this takes the top award.

Amazingly, kids who hate to take a bath at home can’t be dragged away.

Adults have the spa.

Never mind a Jacuzzi, the effervescent pool works just fine, thank you.

Ok, children are all around, music playing, people dancing, water splashing, so where to hide? Look for this sign.

This may be the coolest warm spot on the ship.

Just think while you are unwinding, others are working hard to generate the power

for the bubbles in the tub.

Want water and some company. Dangle your feet.

Or stand in a pool.

Or if you really want to get soaked.

Also there’s Texas hold em, and then there’s Texas touch them

As you may guess, a ride down the big slide may well leave you dizzy and not sure which way to go. No hay problemo…just read.

Last night I had dinner in Cucina del Capitano.

This is a lovely restaurant with some great Italian food, plus some of “Grandma’s Recipes”. Our server was from Romania and smiled as she eased me through avoiding garlic. (weird allergy). I would pick what I wanted and she’d go to the chef and check. She then would come back with suggestions. Back to the chef. Suggestions narrowing down. Hooray for salmon and buttered pasta.

The Italian wine was in lovely bottles,

but poured from a barrel.

I think it’s important to have a fair amount of wine so you’ll be prepared when the staff sings and dances to “That’s Amore”.

But no pictures please.

We now leave Progreso for Cozumel. The question on many passengers minds is did the thruster that pushes us away from the dock get fixed. We report, you decide.

Night, night.

It seems the new Carnival Magic has an eatery every ten feet. There’s pizza,

Mongolian Wok,

a deli, and on and on. The Southern Lights and the Northern Lights are the main dining rooms.

Last night we had a lovely server from Serbia. I ordered Minestrone, Alligator Fritters (don’t ask), and Chile Rellenos. First came the fritters, then the rellenos. But where’s the soup? When Alexi brought my main course, I asked about the soup. She blanched, then blushed, and apologized profusely.

“All is cool.” I said, “Just bring it now and I’ll have it with the rellenos.”

Heading for the kitchen, she apologized again, and again, and again. I finished the rellenos. No soup. More wine was poured, more bread came, no soup.

To tell the truth, I was now stuffed; not even room for dessert.

Here’s the soup! She apologized again, and again, and again.

Now what to do? Obviously I had to eat the soup or she’d think I was sulking or angry with her. Every spoonful a major effort. I won’t be able to slurp another bowl of Minestrone for months. The good news is Alexi and I are now friends

Oh, and the alligator fritters were great.I can’t wait for my next fritter.

Magic is scheduled to leave Galveston, spend two days at sea, next Costa Maya, then Cozumel, a day at sea, and home we go. Make “is” was. Apparently, we’ve got a thruster not thrusting. A thruster is a small jet that helps the ship cuddle carefully to the dock. A woman thought thruster was a dance step.

So instead of Costa Maya, we’re in Progreso on the tip of the Yucatan Peninsula for two days. Divers will work on the thruster. We’re next to the Carnival Elation.

The small town of Progreso is being invaded by 6000 people.

According to the table talk last night, the Progreso beach massage is a big draw.

Many will bus to Merida, a lovely town famous for its colonial architecture. While in Merida I came across this painting.

It, I am sure, depicts the discovery of ethanol.

Some lucky ones will head to Chichen-Itza, the extraordinary Mayan ruins depicted in the Mel Gibson movie. The ruins are close enough for a 7 hour tour. The price, an inexpensive $69.95.

Meanwhile, on board, a unique spot to eat and have a beer is the new Red Frog Pub.

Many brands of beer are featured,

but if you want a tall one, Carnival’s Red Frog is goooooood.The café also serves conch fritters, shrimp things, and other goodies. Magic will have Jamaica as part of its new itinerary, so the spicy sauces are from Jamaica.

They are hot, mon. I don’t remember finding these in our grocery store. If you like yours hot with flavor, take home the one featuring “Jamaican peppers”.

Tonight it’s dinner in Cucina del Capitano. Chow

I booked air to Houston on Southwest. This is the first time for me on this ubiquitous airline, and I’ll be happy to take it again. Here’s a hint if you fly Southwest: for ten bucks you can be first to board in section “A”. you also can check in online 12 hours before “the others”. Be sure to check www.seatguru.com to see the best place to plunk.

The flight to Houston was smooth, on time, and goodies were distributed, and two bags; no charge.

The drive to Galveston is about 45 minutes, with lots of Texas space, some taken up by the Space Center. (sorry). Then Galveston. As I approached I couldn’t help but notice the out lying homes build on pylons to escape flooding waters from hurricanes.

After the big storm in the late eighteen hundreds, the worst natural disaster in history, an immense seawall was erected

and Galveston also raised the level of the ocean facing part of the island. Yup, raised it. But, Ike came a few years ago and frustrated by all this, Ike’s water was forced into the bay, and, yes, the lower part of Galveston got very damp. The salt water killed the roots of most of the island’s Oak trees, but hey this is Galveston. The wood from removed dead oaks has been made into lovely bowls, and some of the still standing dead remains, cut to about 6 feet tall have been beautifully carved.

Galveston has mansions built over a hundred years ago,

and more recent less sedate homes.

Oh, and just houses too.

It is quite a mix.

I stayed at Hotel Galvez which is across the road from the beach and just hit the century mark.

It is rumored to be haunted, especially on the 5th floor. My room was on the fifth floor. I was, of course, not concerned, but late at night I heard a barely audible moaning. It was a woman’s voice. My pulse doubled and I thought “Wow, it’s true”. Then I remembered the huge wedding party in the hotel earlier. Oh well.

There are many things to see and do in Galveston. My favorite, especially for families, was the Schlitterbahn Waterpark. Slides,

ride the waves,

splash around,

and river raft.

Christmas rules the area; lights, decorations, and even Santa raising kids hopes. Thanksgiving?? well, it’s kind of on the way.

When you sail Carnival from Galveston, be sure and spend a couple of days in this great community. Be sure to eat at Rudy and Pacos. www.rudyandpacos.com

The Magic is in town!The new Magic holds 3690 passengers. We will be full for the cruise, but tonight is Gala night for half of Texas to explore the ship, eat, and overnight. The booze was free for all. Late at night some staggered down the passageways putting their card keys into slot after slot.

“What was our cabin number?”

“I told you to write it down.”

“Are you sure this is our deck?”

“I’m not feeling well.”

Talking about keys in the slot, when I entered my cabin

I couldn’t get my lights on. I pushed button after button. Frustrated, I pushed a button with a little green light on it really hard. It went into the wall. The green light went out, but no other light turned on. Wait, what’s this slot? Ahh, slide your key into it and lights on! Whee ha. Take your key when you leave and lights off. Brilliant energy saver. (Just thinking, is brilliant the right word, I mean the lights go out. Perhaps clever?)

I’m eating with the press group in the Northern Lights restaurant. Unlike most Carnival ahipa, although bright and flashy,  the slightly weird and Joe Farcus are gone.

Tomorrow we go on the Magic deck.

No one was injured in the gun battle, and arrests were made, but hey, a shopping center?

Mexican tourist authorities have been yammering for weeks about how safe “tourist cities” are, and Cabo has never been a dangerous area. But hey, a shopping center.

What do the cruise lines do now? Mexican Riviera cruises are already feeling the Mexican malaise. Even now they no longer go to Mazatlan, and are getting nervous about Acapulco. (I will no longer get off the ship in Acapulco).

Or maybe they’ll feel safe knowing tourists are protected by the Mexican military.

Buena Suerte!

First a Gala Dinner to welcome Magic to Galveston, then 6 days to Mexico.

Late January it will be a second look at Holland America’s Nieuw Amsterdam.

Fast forward to April, and it’s through the Canal from Hollywood to New York on Crystal’s newly refurbished Serenity.

BUT FIRST

My new book; an inside look at two world cruises. The good, the bad, and the, well, strange. Available at all eBook sites

I took my first cruise from Los Angeles, through the Panama Canal, and around the Caribbean. The cruise ship was a small Greek ship called the Jason, but I must tell you, cruising then was entirely different than today. The cruise staff did most of the entertaining, most of the bands on ships had an accordion player, and customer service was a bit lax.

My cabin had a bunk on each wall with safety straps to keep you in bed in case of rough weather. The portholes had wooden covers that could be screwed on to keep that rough water out of the cabin. When I complained about the air conditioning in my cabin not working, the ship sent an engineer to check it out. A sturdy Greek woman with a hint of mustache appeared in full uniform. She had no command of English, and Greek was, well, Greek to me. Fortunately, we didn’t need much communication to get the job done. I held my hand to the vent and said, “Is warm!” She put her hand to the vent and said, “Is cold!” And that was that. As Aristotle once said, “It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it.” Whatever.

As the Jason exited the canal into the Caribbean, we were pounded by some very rough seas, and she bounced around enough so that those straps and porthole covers came into play. I sat in the center of the ship on the Promenade deck, and, as advised, kept my eyes on the horizon. I wasn’t sick, but neither was I feeling well, and worse, I was hungry. They told us to eat dry chicken sandwiches which for some reason might stay in place after swallowed. On the Jason, everything was ordered from a desk just inside and off the main deck. I went up to the crewman on desk duty and asked for a dry chicken sandwich. He looked at me, said, “Please wait a moment.” He then opened a drawer, and from a height of about three feet, put most, if not all, of his stomach in the drawer. I passed on the sandwich.

That experience aside, a big attraction of cruising is the food. And there is lots, and lots of good food. With all that largess waiting, a good many passengers are wary of eating too much and gaining weight. I sat with one woman who looked at the menu and asked me what “grouper” was. I told her it was a whitefish that sometimes got as big as three hundred pounds. “Oh,” she said, “I’m really not that hungry.” Another tablemate ate a huge plate of pasta. After she finished, she was upset with the waiter. “I told him,” she said, “to give me a small portion.” “Well”, I countered, “there was a small portion in there.”

Today’s cruise guest has access to food 24 hours a day. Room service is always prompt, and the air conditioner will be adjusted to your liking. Nevertheless, no matter how luxurious the ships, most people who cruise share one single desire. One day, they want to cruise around the world!

I have been twice blessed in that regard, and what you are about to read is a diary of both of those blessings. Some of what I wrote will be a bit dated. For instance, all cruise ships now have access to the Internet operating 24 hours a day. Today’s passengers don’t have to seek out an Internet café at every port, and on a world cruise there are a lot of ports. But, you know, I think they’re missing something; that chance to interact with the locals and other travelers.

So hop aboard, have some laughs, and watch out for that reef off Egypt

It was unexpected, and as it turns out, unprecedented. One of Splendor’s diesel generators caught fire and within seconds the heat melted the above wiring thought safe, behind heavy insulation. All electrical power . . .  gone. Ship motionless. 3,299 passengers and 1,167 crew members without air conditioning, hot food. A diesel generator catching fire was the last thing any sailor would expect.

A special committee has been formed to try to find out how something like this could happen, and how to make sure it never happens again. The committee has air conditioning.

Major repairs were done in SFO. Parts had to be manufactured. A 218,000 lb. generator, two 106,000 alternators, came by plane. Added to that, believe it or not, 110 MILES of electrical cable was installed. More than enough to get a green car to your job and back.

Workers were at it 24 hours a day for three months, trying to get Splendor back in service.

Well, she’s back. Splendor sails roundtrip to the Mexican Riviera visiting Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo San Lucas. Oops, for the moment let’s make that two days in Cabo and none in Mazatlan. Just after Splendor left for the Riviera, a shooting occurred in the Gold Zone shopping district.

Although no tourist was involved, the Gold Zone is a magnet for tourists. Great beaches, first-class hotels, good restaurants, and everyone speaks English. Jewelry shops are omnipresent. I had a lovely ring made there, but have second thoughts about going again. Nevertheless, the spectacular bargains in silver have my wife thinking about getting  a flack vest for our next trip.

Will Carnival decide to visit Mazatlan again? No se.

But visit or not there is nothing like a Carnival ship.

Splendor is aptly named.

Prior to her sailing, I had a dinner in one of her “standard” restaurants. Raves from the table. For most it was the best pasta carbonarra ever ingested. I had roast duck breast . . . unsurpassed. And the soup on any Carnival ship gets a top slurp award. Not to mention the hot lava chocolate fudge cake!

Even if Splendor just roamed around at sea, you would be getting the best value afloat. Just think how much you’ll save so you’ll be able to frolic at Senor Frogs.

Condos are popping up fertilized by Taylor and Burton, who, while they are no longer here, started it all. One of my favorite stories about the two stars is about the home they had (now a simple museum) on one side of the street and the home on the other side which was mostly converted into pool. Burton put up a high wall to keep prying paparazzi at bay. BUT, they had to cross the street to get that swim. Cameras ready 24 hours a day, the Canon creeps kept clicking away. What to do??

Mildly inebriated, but with tons of pesos, Richard built a bridge over the street. Now, no photos unless from a helicopter.

It’s a treat to look out at the lovely and gracefully ageing city.

Oops, wrong side of the ship.

Oops that side doesn’t work either.

And more going up…manana.

The only place now left with a fading shadow of the way “lo estaba”, is old town in the northern section. It’s worth the cab ride.

We are now heading back to Los Angeles

with monster storms awaiting us. Those who now join Symphony for her 14 day roundtrip to Hawaii can put their umbrellas away.

Ahead of Christmas Eve, I have to plug up my chimney. Afraid of rain? Nope, it’s so this dude doesn’t slide down.

To me, more fascinating than Copper Canyon, are the indigenous Tarahumara, some of whom still live in the canyon in caves, beneath rock outcroppings on cliffs, or in unpretentious cabins. These settlements are separated by harsh terrain. Today there are cell phones and texting, but before these tech goodies the only way villages could communicate was by messenger.

The Taramumara could literally run for days and I’m told it wasn’t unusual for one of these dudes to run 435 miles in one go. I find that hard to believe, but I understand that the way Tarahumara would hunt their prey was to chase them until their quarry quit, exhausted. Think how green it would be to hire them to deliver pizza. By the way, the rumor that their food staple was snails is yet to be confirmed.

Off in the distance was a town, maybe Topo, maybe not,

but I stayed on the ship to assess some of the refurbs on Symphony.

After 40 days of dry dock in Boston, a new Symphony surfaced. The Neptune pool disappeared and a lovely and comfortable lounging deck took its place. The Jacuzzis were melded into one big one.

That’s not me. I got in later, but didn’t know how to make it bubble. (The controls are in the end of the rectangle.) Be aware it is hot.

I love the couches

and 180 degree chairs.

Two women were in the Chair next to me and a bee that had been buzzing around my Joop shaving cologne decided their suntan oil was a better bet. I have never seen two bathing suited adults jump, and squeal, and leap, and duck, and hand flap with such abandon during their seat to pool scurry.

The Lido

has been pushed out and some of the outdoor space was taken. The tables left are set to accommodate four.

I have adopted a “please sir” face as I carry my plate and slowly walk amongst the twos. More often than not I’m invited to sit and join them. I’ve met some nice people.

My cabin is on Penthouse Deck 10. All penthouse cabins have been beautifully redone; change of layout, carpet, bathroom, etc.

Mine is kept perfectly by Jessica from Chile.

My dining room steward is Jose; wine steward Ana.

They make this a fun table and ease the boredom of eating alone.

In the evening, Nick Lewin, a wonderful sleight of hand magician and maybe the only magician funny enough to make the hoary three ropes into one entertaining,

gave us a peek into the mind of a magician. As his time on stage came close to ending, he checked his watch to see how much longer he had to go. With a HUGE effort I swallowed the urge to yell, *That’s my watch.” You see he had disappeared someone’s watch when he did his major show. Oh well.

Tomorrow Loreto and another production show, “The Envelope Please”.

For the best in cruising it’s AvidCruiser.com

Years ago my wife and I vacationed in Loreto. Some paved streets, more not, and very few tourists. The beach was great, hotel good, and food perfect. One thing that comes close to standing out in my mind was the airline didn’t make advance seat reservations. If there were more passengers than seats, well tomorrow’s another day. The practice was to hire someone to wait in line for you on the day of the flight. I don’t remember the cost of this, but it was cheaper than another night at the hotel. So why didn’t I go ashore? I didn’t want to replace the fond memory of Loreto for the two newly married with whatever is now “up to date”.

Staying aboard Symphony is certainly not a chore. The botoxed Bistro is a favorite place of many to grab coffees, teas, and goodies.

The bar has been circularized (I can’t believe that’s a word”.

Ubiquitously on display are Christmas reminders. The computer center,

the cheese,

and even the ginger bowl.

This place must be scary around Halloween.

Each night Teodor brings canapés at around 4:45 PM.

Then it’s to dinner at 6:15. I love the dining room’s “first plates” that reflect the food scene of the night.

This was French night.

Actually, I wasn’t very hungry and I found by not eating, my table attracted all kinds of men in tuxedos asking about the food, did I want something else, etc. None could accept “I’m not very hungry.” (This is a cruise ship, idiot, everyone’s ready to eat all the time.)

In the evening, the Crystal Society members were invited to cocktails and dancing in the Starlight Club. The Crystal Society is Crystal’s guest loyalty program. Some of the people at this party have cruised Crystal since the Harmony first went to sea years ago. One even longer than that.

The production show yet again was hugely entertaining. The audience, in formal wear, was a bit reserved, applauding, but absolutely no vocalizing except, you guessed it, from me. Some of the dance numbers combined acrobatics; splits, cartwheels, leaps and in air somersaults; all performed with poise and style. So yes, I shouted out. YES!

Tomorrow Mazatlan.

(For the best in cruise news go to www.avidcruiser.com)

3/31/2011, 10 days Round-trip Los Angeles

11/27/2011, 7 days Round-trip Los Angeles

12/11/2011, 10 days Round-trip Los Angeles

Thanks Michael for your info.

We are in La Paz, “Baja’s Hot Spot”. Who knew?

With 250,000 people, this is Baja’s second largest city. La Paz used to be known as the “City of Pearls”. Unfortunately, all the oysters are long gone.

But first things first. Into each life some detergent will fall and it was laundry time for me. It is really neat to have a free place to do washable clothes.

But, be sure and read the directions on the washers and dryers as they don’t work as you might expect. Well, don’t pay too close attention.

La Paz, although on the ocean, depends on this port which is about a 30 minute drive to the city.

We were serenaded on the way to the free shuttle.

As you drive to La Paz, be sure to sit on the right side of the bus. That’s where you’ll see most of the interesting surroundings.

This area is booming, or trying to boom. Gary Player designed a golf course featured as part of a condo complex.

Lowest price, $750,000 USD.

There are availabilities. A bit further on is a non-completed building with one condo as a model home. On a hill above it all, new million dollar plus homes. There are availabilities.

The city itself is, well a city.

As I was walking, an armed soldier standing in the back of an unmarked pickup truck passed by.

I have no idea what his assignment was. Maybe he was being disciplined.

Just a thought as I walked the shopping area.

If T-shirts suddenly disappeared, hundreds of stores all over the world would be empty.

The center of the Malecon or beach “walk” features a tall Christmas tree,

but none I’ve seen so far can compare with the Symphony tree.

The walk itself goes for miles in each direction and is great for walking or bike riding. Along the way are the most attractive trash barrels anywhere.

For me, no matter what’s on shore, there is nothing nicer than getting back to the boat. (OK, it’s ship, but I liked the alliteration.)

The night was full. Early in the evening a cocktail party in the Captain’s quarters which got me in the perfect mood for dinner in Prego.

We had a table for 5, excellent service and superb food. There is no extra charge for this alternate restaurant, but Crystal suggests a gratuity of $7.00 per person. How they came up with $7.00 I have no clue, but I can imagine the “tip” meeting at the long table.

“How about $5.00?”

“I say $7.00.”

“Let’s meet in the middle at $6.00.”

“I say $7.00 and I’m the CEO!!!!!”

“$7.00 it is, let’s go to lunch.”

From dinner to the show. The production was based on Route 66. Great! Brett Bullock , the head of entertainment for Crystal Cruises, has done it again. In all the years of cruising, this is only the third time I’ve looked forward to the next show. I think we should all send Brett $7.00.

Tomorrow Topolobampo.

Fifteen years ago, my wife, Michael, and I sailed on Symphony’s inaugural out of New York to Los Angeles. I remember walking onto the ship and seeing the rain of water next to the sculpture. That is about the only setting that I still recognize.

This ship has changed quite a bit since 1995 (as have I), and the “new” Symphony is stunning. More about specific changes will come later.

My wife and I have made the trip to the LA Cruiseport numerous times. For some reason this time I put the place name in our navigation system. Did I put Cruiseport? No. Did I put Port of Los Angeles? Yes. OMG!!!

I won’t go into the near dissolve of my marriage, but I kept telling Michael to “go left, go right, NO!! I said right”. You get the picture. We ended in a strange area, no ship in sight, lots of oil tanks, and a building. The Port of Los Angeles. Nice office.

From that point it was a nightmare. We kept trying to get back to the freeway, navigation system be damned. Not good, the city of something was having a parade, and each turn we took, after a few blocks, had floats, police, barriers, etc. Do you know how hard it is to hear marching band music with your wife screaming?

At last the ship. Although I had left home in plenty of time, the long trip ate that up. I was the last to board. Once on Symphony, the stress faded. I’m on Penthouse Deck in a lovely and spacious stateroom.

Bags arrived quickly, and I unpacked. Oops, somehow I totally forgot to bring a razor and shaving lotion. Forgetting the razor was a $15 mistake. If this happens to you, I suggest buying in port rather than on board.

Cologne was a different issue. Faced with a penny candy smell shelf,

I went by label alone. I have a bit of a sinus problem and am aroma impaired. God knows what the result of a squirt of Joop is, but it looks cool on the bathroom shelf.

My butler, Teodor, introduced himself. He’s from the UK and has an accent that completely eludes translation. And he speaks rapidly! It’s like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. He asked me something, and without a clue as to what he said, I um-hummed yes. Ten minutes later a bottle of vodka appeared.

Dinner was sushi. Nobu is a famous sushi creator and oversees preparations. I heartily recommend the “house special”.

Be careful of the wasabi. It has twice the zing of any I’ve had ashore.

The TV has “cable” channels, so Sunday night football closed the curtain for me. A note about the TV; its flat screen faces directly forward

and thus is difficult to see from the bed. Pull it straight out, do some twisting,

and line of sight is from pillow to screen.

Tomorrow a look at the ship, but let me leave you with this. President Obama has the Bush tax problem. Enough already!

More than a few ships were in port,

which surprised me as it was Monday. Turns out that there are more airline seats available on Mondays, and the cruise lines have adjusted.

Debarking Sojourn was a breeze. I was first off the ship, bags were organized on the pier, and immigration was simple and speedy.

I had a car reserved to take me from Port Everglades, to the Miami Cruise Terminal. My instruction sheet issued to me by the car service instructed me to dial a specific 800 number to dispatch the limo from the holding area to the pick up lanes.

As you may remember, my cell phone was resting comfortably at home. I had to use a payphone to make the call. I had two, and only two, precious quarters in my pocket. Leaving the terminal building, there were two phones, on my immediate left; one pay, and one a free courtesy phone.

Yay for Pier 4. The quarters stayed in my pocket and I followed the phone instructions; dial 9, then the number. I did. Beep, beep, you’ve dialed a non functioning number, or words to that effect. I tried again; same recording.

Quarters out and into the pay phone. I got the same recording, AND the phone kept one quarter, while spitting the other out. Now what? The number to get my car didn’t work, and I had no idea how to make any of this happen.

I sought out a Celebrity official who was there to help departing passengers. He took out his cell to try the mystery number. Oh, but wait a minute, he didn’t have his glasses. I helped him press the buttons, and hallelujah, a voice answered. My now partner, besides not being able to see, couldn’t hear. I was handed the phone, and indeed it was dispatch. I told ‘dispatch” that I was ready to go.

“Where are you?”

“Terminal 4”

“I can’t hear you.”

“TERMINAL 4!!!!!”

“What is on your left?’

“The boat.”

“What are you standing next to?”

“A sign that says ‘pick up area’.”

“Look to your right.”

I actually thought I was hallucinating, but grudgingly looked to my right. And there, my friends, was my limo driver waving a sign that was too far away to read. He, being thoughtful, hadn’t bothered to wait in the holding area.

Off to Miami. Driver Reuben had a nearly indecipherable accent, and was giving me a tour as we went South. I did a lot of um humming.

We arrived at the Eclipse terminal. Since this was a two day trip, no baggage handlers were available. I was rolling a big suitcase and a carry on. When I got to security, I showed my passport plus my invitation to board. The invitation, for some reason wasn’t enough to get me in. They passed me on to a special desk. The lady there needed my cabin number. Well, I didn’t have that, so she looked for my name on a list. There were well over a thousand names on the list, not in alphabetical order, but listed by cabin number. I know you’re, way ahead of me, but I’ll say it anyway. My name was on the last page.

I was cleared and headed up to the boarding area. A “sentry” was in charge of the early boarding. I explained to him that I was to attend the press conference. He pointed to his lapel and said you need a purple button. After back and forth about my missing purple button, some Celebrity officials came by and said that there is no problem, but we had to wait until 10:30 to board. I put my luggage in a corner and sat to wait. After a bit, I needed to use the mens’ room. To get there, I had to pass through final security where bags and people are x-rayed. The mens’ room was down a hall that led to final check in.

When I came back and tried to go through reverse security, they called a port of Miami officer to deal with me. Apparently while I was, well you know, boarding had started. Suddenly my bags were all alone. Alert! Alert! The unaccompanied baggage alarmed all, and it was put through the screener without me.

I left the shaking heads and went to media check in. Standing next to me was someone who seemed to know me, and I vented a bit to him about how much better I thought Port Everglades was for cruise passengers. He didn’t agree.

All being in order, I received my room card. Next, to the escalator to board. Nope.

“We are not yet boarding, but you can sit here.”

As I sat the man I spoke to earlier about the difference between Port Everglades and Miami, came by on his way up the escalator and said that I needed a “Guest” sticker. Back to check in. Sticker now pasted on my shirt, it was up the escalator I went. At last, I thought, all hurdles have been jumped, and I’m on the ship.

Talking about hurdles, I ran the low hurdles in high school and in a meet brushed the top of the 4th hurdle. It had been set up backwards and didn’t fold as it should have. I ended up face first in the gravel track.

I went up the ramp and presented my room card to on-deck security. They inserted it. It didn’t work. The machine hummed then burped. Second try, same result. The two security guards then opened the machine and pulled on some connections. Machine closed, card inserted, humming and burping. The 4th hurdle?

They let me on, but said to go to Guest Services. Not a chance! I was on and headed to the press conference.

And there, ladies and gentlemen, I saw the man I had talked to about my preference for Port Everglades. He was on the panel representing the Port of Miami.

Coming up, a look at Celebrity Eclipse.

This is the last day of this voyage and also the last of nine sea days. If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I’ve been traveling alone. After awhile, my mind kind of numbed out. That is why I got interested in egg yolks. The eggs from Vons in Santa Clarita have pale yellow yolks. The eggs on Sojourn are red.

Why is that? Well, no one on the ship seems to know and could care less. The closest I came to an answer was from a gal from Jamaica who said it was the chickens. Well, I suppose so, they come first.

I am now in the midst of packing. Ordinarily, this is not a problem, but I am going to be on the Celebrity Eclipse for two days and need access to clothes. There won’t be any baggage handlers for the Eclipse doings, and they advised to only bring carry-on. Even the world’s strongest man would hesitate to call my 12 days of luggage “carry-on”.

The food on Sojourn defines gourmet. Each night at The Restaurant has been a consuming challenge. It was hard to decide what not to eat as all the entrees were tempting.

Even the vegetarian dishes were out of the ordinary. I do wish that I could have been at the meeting where they named The Restaurant. I am sure that a dozen designations were brought up and turned down. Then, folks, someone said how about calling it The Restaurant? Two to one it was the boss, and that’s why no one quarreled with that uncomplicated appellation.

So what can Celebrity’s Eclipse offer that will compete in the food category.? Well, how about if your food is upside down? Check out my article on Qsine.

Tomorrow off to Miami, then on Wednesday, American Airlines puts a period to this excursion. In December it will Crystal Symphony’s last Mexican Riviera cruise. and if food is still the subject, Michael and I will spend more than one dinner at the sushi bar.

Five dollars will buy you all you can eat.

Sayonara.

The Club is perfect for teatime, but it only seats about 50 people. Never mind. The show went on. One by one each lead singer took the stage with backup singers lining the hall. Indeed, it rocked the boat. I have some video. Maybe it will publish here. I really need Ralph Grizzle Avid Cruiser guru to put this together.

Ralph, help!!

When I got back to my cabin, I had a roommate. Nicole apparently thought I needed company.

The ship is swaying from side to side as big swells move from starboard to port.

Everyone trying to navigate the corridors is bouncing off the walls. People passing one another, if they are not careful, will end up embracing. It was fun watching folks reaching for food at the buffet and doing a semi-jog backwards, tongs in hand.

There is a high surf alert in the Ft. Lauderdale area, and talk of possible flooding. I mentioned this to someone at lunch, and he got nervous about whether his flight would get off the ground. I assured him that if the airport gets flooded so will most of the town. Not to worry.

At lunch a man and his wife were eating and playing Scrabble. I guess after eight days at sea they’ve run out of talk.

Last night I was again a guest at the end of a table for eleven. On my left a charming lady from Liverpool who chatted about the upscale changes to that city. She didn’t talk to me for long. On her left was an elderly man who recited his gaining a free trip because of the amount of days he has sailed Seabourn. That evolved into his Alaska trip. It was all word for word what head said to me a few dinners ago. On my right a sweet woman with a voice so whispery that it was as if she didn’t want anyone to hear her. Nobody did.

Our hostess was not quite versed in hosting duties. The host or hostess at a table will wait until all are served, and the say, “Bon Appétit”. Our hostess, a sweet lady flautist, didn’t want to start first, and sat quietly while we waited. After a bit I said, “Bon Appétit”. That became my job for the dinner.

There’s another show tonight, this time in The Salon. After the show there are different spots to visit. There’s music, dancing, and gambling. Last night I stopped by the casino and only one person was playing roulette; three were at the Blackjack table. Otherwise the casino was empty, except for the slots.

Tonight is formal, but many passengers will stay in their cabins and order off the menu. Not a bad idea. There are lots of movies on the TV and more music than one could possibly listen to in 12 days.

We have one more day at sea, and all are hoping for a quieter ocean and the end to a shaking ship.

.

I needed to quickly fax material to Westways magazine. Other ships you havetoshow up at purser’s desk, maybe wait in line, and cross your fingers that it gets sent. Sojourn? Go to Sojourn Square and hand it to the attendant. He will reach over and pull the Fax machine out of the wall and off it goes.

Another plus I love, the menus for all restaurants are in your suite the night before. That sure beats going to read the menus in front of the different serving areas. There is a small problem. It makes me hungry. Tonight it will be braised veal osso bucco.

There are dance activities every day, and what I presume are individual lessons. I am pushing for a reality show called “Deck Dancing”.

Ta-da

We are a couple of days east of Fort Lauderdale, and going through sunshine, then big rainstorms, then sunshine.

There are some lovely rainbows but they are extraordinarily camera shy.

This is where I spend my “sun” days.Lots of room, a steward giving constant attention, and a great Jacuzzi.

There are tons of other choices for sunning, but this is not that much of a tanning crowd.

Not many golfers either.

As we approach Fort Lauderdale, it’s time to say goodbye to places visited for the last time.

Tonight there is a show on deck called “Rock The Boat”. Tomorrow some photos of the boat rocking.

Cruise Critic just named Seabourn the top luxury cruise line:

“Seabourn’s new Odyssey and Sojourn are the largest true luxury ships in cruising, and yet the size works. It allows for more onboard choice – especially the fantastic Seabourn Square, a combination library, coffee shop, bakery and social hub — and yet attention to detail in its cuisine, service and upscale yacht-like ambiance, is impeccable.”

That statement is a complete misrepresentation. The Silversea Silver Spirit is larger, and certainly true luxury.  Regent, should be counted too. But as my Grandmother used to say, never mind.

Sojourn and Odyssey, unlike competitors, do not have butler service. Truth be told, I don’t miss it. First off, my room stewardess, Nicole, brings me milk and cookies each night.

Room service is prompt. I ordered a five course dinner from the restaurant menu and it was delivered in ten minutes. Faster than calling butler, giving order, etc. And I love Seabourn Square. In addition to what Cruise Critic mentioned, there are four desks in a semi enclosed space that take the place of the usual Purser’s counter.

No lines, no hassle, just fast service no matter what the concern.

I ate with Cruise Director Jan Stearman last night (table for 11).

There was much discussion about luxury lines. It’s relatively impossible to pick the best. So much depends upon personal taste, and how many luxury ships have been experienced. For instance, no one mentions the German ship Europa.Is this luxury? Ja wohl!!!!

Cruise Critic terms Sojourn and Odyssey as “largest” , but 450 passengers is not large in the scheme of things. Showtime will not be a group of gyrating dancers. On this ship there are only four performers; they sing. They separately joined a production company in London where they were put together and trained. They learned well, and are a pleasure to listen to and watch.                           

The Grand Salon (theater) is more of a lounge; comfortable, but with problems.

The supporting pillars in many places narrow the view of the stage. There’s a lot of scrambling to find a place that is not blocked.

And then there’s The Club. Team trivia at 11:45

melds into tea at 4:45 with music, and later drinks and canapés before dinner.

Earlier in the cruise I sat next to Laura, a social hostess from England who, in addition, sometimes sings at tea. When she does, Britain fades away.

She is superb, and music, I hope, will be her future.

More about the ship coming as the days float by, but right now it’s time for a nap.

Funchal

Funchal is the largest city, the municipal seat, and has been the capital of Portugal’s Autonomous Region of Madeira for five centuries. It’s been a rocky road for Funchal.

The island, and Funchal specifically, were vulnerable to privateer and pirate attacks. In 1566, French corsairs attacked with a force of 1,200 men, on three main ships and small fleet of eight support craft. This armada anchored in the beach of Formosa, disembarked a contingent of 800 men that marched toward the city in three columns. Funchal’s fortifications were assaulted by land, where its defense was thin; the defenders could not reposition the canons directed toward the sea. The city suffered a violent sack that lasted 15 days until the last of the armada left.

Little remained of Funchal, but today, the population is 140,000, and it is a bustling city.

Although another attack is not to come, they are still alert.

It is lovely to walk along the pedestrian way. There are tons of outdoor cafes and no empty tables. It’s lunch time.

And, as is typical of Spanish type towns, there is a statue of one of the cherished in the middle of the square

There are also those not so important, but hey, put up a statue.

One of the things that puzzled me was the white area on the cathedral.

All I could think of was it was space for a coming advertisement;  “Praise God and shop here.”

Another building had me questioning. I couldn’t imagine the space inside and wondered what caused it to be built so slim. Maybe the architect only had a narrow roll of paper for his plans.

Heading along the waterfront, back to the ship,

I was captivated by a sign that said, “Sardine Salad and Sangria 8.50 Euros.” I was sold. It was very tasty, and  I just bet those sardines were caught that morning.

A sad sight was waiting at the pier.

A man with whom I had chatted was being taken to the hospital. When I met him he was on oxygen and in a motorized wheelchair. I don’t know what happened. He talked to me as they wheeled him out, but certainly wasn’t happy. Better it happened early than in the midst of the Atlantic.

I was looking forward to dinner as I was a guest at the table of two of the social hostesses. Yeah right, once again I was at the end of a table for twelve. There was some fun conversation, but it felt weird not to be able to talk to either of the hostesses except to say goodbye.

Tomorrow is the first of nine days at sea.

At Sea

First off, please excuse the the order of this blog. Since we are sometimes satellite impaired, the publishing can work one day and not the next.

This day, after a redeye from Los Angeles, is always a catch up day for me.

Today, I slept until 2 PM.

One of the things concerning me was eating alone as I am traveling alone, and it’s not simple for me to walk up to a stranger and say, “Hey, can I eat with you tonight?” As I found out last night, there will be an invitation in my mail each day to join a hosted table. This is a wonderful gift from Seabourn, and makes things so much easier. However, not everyone at the table is solo, but couples are not seated together.

We are not a full ship, and a good many on board are from Britain and Germany. With the Euro treating our dollar like a bully kicking sand in our face, cruise ship fares are incredibly attractive to the Euro folks.

Tonight, it’s the ship’s doctor’s table. Again, a long table for 12, which limits conversation. There are four on each side and two at each end. That makes it close to impossible to converse with the host and basically limits the chitchat to the people immediately to the left and right.

I was seated at one end; on my left, a man from Belgium, and on my right, a man who never stopped talking and waving his arms. He is from England, but not with an accent I could decipher. I caught every 4th or 5th word. I got that he had taken a cruise on the Mississippi river. I asked if it was a Paddle Wheel boat. He said he’d only played that game a few times, waved his arms and went on. There was not much room for anyone else to talk. That, for me, was a relief.

The doctor sat with a closed lip smile and only spoke when asked a question. I’m not sure what country he is from, but English, I’m sure is not his primary language. I hope I don’t fall ill with anything complicated.

My goal on this trip was to get the recipe for the incredible French Fries served at The Grill.

They have some kind of coating, just enough to give a sense of crust.

When we were on Seabourn’s Odyssey, we persisted in asking for the recipe. Everyone we asked persisted in avoiding the question. This afternoon I cornered an inscrutable Chinese serving the French Fries. Much to my disappointment he became scrutable.

“We get them frozen from a company in San Francisco.”

Tomorrow, we’ll see land for the last time this trip. We arrive in Funchal, which is an island due west of Casablanca, Morocco, about noon. The ship has a shuttle service to town, and I’m on a mission to find Pomegranate juice, something I drink every morning, but mine is still sitting in the Fridge at home. Oops.

Days so far are sunny and warm.

Approaching Lisbon 

Such a beautiful city from the air; buildings of all different shapes, ancient to innovative, tall and short. From above, Lisbon is a city that invites exploration. Of course, those were the roofs I was looking at.

We left the plane and then had a bit of a walk.

That scene repeated itself around a corner, and then again around another corner. I know it was more than a mile to the baggage area.

It always irks me when Christmas is pushed out before Thanksgiving, but I admit in a dreary area, decorated by abandoned bags and carts, it was, well merry.

Since Portugal is part of the EU, no forms had to be filled out before showing our passports. Immigration was speedy; customs a nod of the head.

The airport is lovely,

but I wanted to get to the boat  port. How to do it was the problem; no one showed up to meet me. A lady and her sister had the same dilemma. She said her travel agent had promised someone would be waiting for her. The three of us hung around from 7:30 until 9:30.

I decided to take a cab, but had no idea where the port was, nor its name. The woman in the information cubicle didn’t either. She stared at her computer, pushed a few keys, moved her eyebrows up and down, and then went to ask someone. Her confidence in the name she gave me should have been encouraging. It wasn’t.

At least the airport was organized. The cabs came in, the line moved, your carts were taken, and you were off.

The fare to the ship was from 12 to 14 Euros; close to 17 to 20 dollars.

My cab driver neither spoke nor understood English. A “nice day isn’t it” just got a shrug. Several boats were in port, so I pointed and said “Seabourn.” Another shrug. Luckily, Sojourn was the last in the row so I shook my head no three times, and then yes, vigorously.

The waiting area before boarding consisted of some fake flowers, and around fifteen folding metal chairs. Boarding was not until 12:30. Well, the lady and her sister’s cab pulled up and the lady was having none of that. She ranted to other passengers, to me, and to the walls until the ship’s officer in charge of customer relations was called. Next immigration was summoned. Soon there was our group in line, then a podium, then a tight knot of four or five men, some in uniform, thrashing things out. We were aboard by 10:30.

I took a loooong nap, but was up and about for the “sail away” on Deck 9.

The band was great, really cooking,

and good stuff was poured.

Ahhhhhh, Seabourn. Sadly, it was goodbye to Lisbon.

Later, I was invited to dine with the Enrichment Lecturer. It was a table for 12. I was at one end. My “ears” didn’t go as far as the other end. Actually the table kind of divided itself. On my left was the Social Hostess….very personable, got my jokes, and helped me get through the evening.

On my right, last to the table, was a man in his late fifties. He was what I term a conversational agitator. He’d say something, reactions would come, then he’d say, “Hey I’m just joking.” All in all, a bit weird, but a lot of fun.

After dinner I gave in to my body and crashed!